I took Adderall for a while. Whenever I think of the experience, I’m reminded of this panel from the wonderful Saga comic book

I hoped taking Adderall would drastically improve my mood. And it did. But not at all in the way I hoped.

I hoped I’d be in the mood to emulate the author D. Oswald Heist, who devoted three years of productive labor to create his 435-page novel. Instead, I ended up being in the mood to emulate Alana. In other words, I felt like just hanging out and stuff.

I felt wonderful. Maybe I should take it again with different expectations. I feel like I was silly and naive to expect a pill to help me boost my productivity.

And yet

There are plenty of testimonials from people who took Adderall and experienced it as a complete game changer. They claim that Adderall really did help them boost their productivity. I bought into it. Lots of people buy into it.

My symptoms are certainly consistent with an adult version of inattentive ADHD. If Adderall had worked for me the way so many people have claimed it worked for them, I imagine it really could have changed my life. Maybe if I take it again with different expectations, it will change my life.

It’s just so weird that my experience was so different from what people describe. I took Adderall and felt like just hanging out and stuff. I wish I had some kind of explanation.